I'm Marina.
I love books and language and breakfast. I'm also an idiot and I have no idea what I'm doing.


aliens: land on earth
us: gives them a brief overview
aliens: my mama says i gotta come home right now immediately 

You see, it has never been very easy for me to live, though I am always very happy—maybe because I want so much to be happy. I like so much to live and I hate the idea of dying one day. And then I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life, I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, and to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish…You see, it is difficult to get all which I want.

━ Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Nelson Algren
As we manipulate everyday words, we forget that they are fragments of ancient and eternal stories, that we are building our houses with broken pieces of sculptures and ruined statues of gods.

━ Bruno Schulz
Ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man - a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’. The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill; and was later applied to men: virile. Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all all called virgin, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence. And all great culture heroes of the past, mythic or historic, were said to be born of virgin mothers: Marduk, Gilgamesh, Buddha, Osiris, Dionysus, Genghis Khan, Jesus - they were all affirmed as sons of the Great Mother, of the Original One, their worldly power deriving from her. When the Hebrews used the word, and in the original Aramaic, it meant ‘maiden’ or ‘young woman’, with no connotations to sexual chastity. But later Christian translators could not conceive of the ‘Virgin Mary’ as a woman of independent sexuality, needless to say; they distorted the meaning into sexually pure, chaste, never touched.

Monica Sjoo, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth  

A little research is telling me that this etymology may not be exactly correct but I still like the idea all the same

Traumatic events that occur early in childhood are encoded in the psyche in a modality that is primarily nonverbal. Neurologic studies of the effects of child abuse on brain function suggest that trauma results in overactivation of right brain (nonverbal) activity as compared with left brain (verbal) activity (Schiffer, Teicher, & Papanicolaou, 1995). Thus, when traumatic events are relived in current reality, they retain a strikingly nonverbal quality. In the clinical arena it is quite striking to encounter patients who are otherwise highly intelligent, verbal, and articulate, but who literally seem to have no words to describe their childhood experiences. For these patients, their experiences of early childhood abuse remain both literally and figuratively unspeakable.

James A. Chu, Rebuilding Shattered Lives: Treating Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders 

oh my god. i spent like…a million therapy sessions before i was able to even give an abstract and approximate description of a particular feeling that drove my eating disorder and this explains so much. i’ve lived my whole life with so many feelings i don’t have words for and there’s things that i still really can’t articulate and this just makes so much sense. i’ve always just felt so dumb


I had a panic attack yesterday night and went out at 3am in the morning, drove to the sea and slept in the car. I woke up to this.

We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank
Track: People As Places As People
Artist: Modest Mouse
with 1,247 plays

the people you love
but you didn’t quite know
they’re the places that you wanted to go

so someone just left baked goods on my doorstep and i have my suspicions about which little cutie is responsible

But mostly I just stand in the dark field,
in the middle of the world, breathing

━ Mary Oliver, ”What Is There Beyond Knowing